To win the Stanley Cup–the legendary trophy of professional hockey’s ultimate championship–is quite a feat. The Pittsburgh Penguins played 106 grueling matches between October 8 and last Sunday, finally besting the San Jose Sharks to become National Hockey League champs of the 2015-16 season. It is the team’s fourth Stanley Cup victory since its inception in 1967.
It turns out, though, that to own a Stanley Cup isn’t nearly as difficult. All it takes is a five gallon paint bucket, one medium salad bowl, some duct tape, and a roll of tin foil. Phil Kessel and Patric Hörnqvist no doubt put in countless hours–hell, years–training, conditioning, and carbo-loading for this honor–and they don’t even get to keep the cup! For Jane or Joe Fan, a well-focused half hour in the basement can bring home a fine facsimile of hockey’s ultimate prize. This efficiency even leaves time for some optional carbo-loading of their own. Many of these D.I.Y. Stanley Cups made the trip downtown for the Penguins victory parade on Wednesday.
It’s a curious motivation, bringing your own faux Stanley Cup to a parade featuring the real deal. What if, say, Michael Rapaport or Curtis Armstrong showed up at the Academy Awards with an “Oscar” homemade from the top of a bowling trophy? Or if, I don’t know, Limp Bizkit or Hoobastank loitered outside the Grammy awards ceremony with the woofer from a boombox nailed into their mother’s jewelry case? Maybe they do–heck, this blogger hopes they do! It would definitely be cool, but also a little weird.
Regardless, the fans that create these tribute trophies are obviously dedicated beyond the run-in-the-mill “Gold Rush” shirt-sporters or “White Out” towel-wavers. They sacrificed an eight-quart mixing bowl and a day of vacation to go to town with 400,000 like minds and at least a couple dozen other not-fooling-anyone Stanley Cups. The Orbit wholeheartedly salutes them, their enthusiasm, and their creativity. May we fill Pittsburgh’s cupboards with Lord Stanley’s dishware.