Lawn Order: Turn on Your Love Lighthouse

homemade decorative lighthouse made from painted flower pots, Donora, PA
Flower pot lighthouse, Donora

To call metro Pittsburgh landlocked is a little unfair. There’s water everywhere–just try to leave the house and avoid it. Big rivers, little rivers, creeks, and “runs”; more rain, fog, mist, snow, and ice than we know what to do with. Come July, just walking through the outside air will feel like slamming headlong into a vertical wall of steam. That said, it’s certainly true that the closest ocean is a day’s drive away; heck, we don’t even have a lake, great or otherwise.

So it’s a little weird that so many homeowners living so far from a body of water vast enough to actually need a lighthouse have chosen to erect them–incongruously, oxymoronically–as decoration for their yards.

We’re not talking just one or two here, either. Lawn lighthouses are a legitimate phenomenon of American detached housing. It’s hard to travel a suburban block and not spot an example of the tell-tale tapered tower and its elaborate paint job poking from someone’s hedge row. The nation’s front yards, mulched garden beds, porches, and water features have got a ton of decorative lighthouses and Allegheny County is no exception.

lighthouse lawn ornament with leopard model in front yard of house
Snarling leopard lighthouse, East Vandergrift
decorative red and white lighthouse lawn ornament in front of red brick house
Color-coordinated lighthouse, Lawrenceville

It’s not 100% true, but the lighthouse seems to most often be the cherry on top of an already perfectly immaculate yardscape. They’re like bonus trophies awarded to the homeowners who’ve already won greenest grass and most weed-free expanse titles. The mulch around them is almost always perfectly raked, the flowering shrubs, just so. Lighthouses are often the sole decoration to outside space equivalents of fancy architect houses: clean, organized, and without distraction … but it’s hard to imagine anyone actually lives there or walks on the emerald green.

Anyway, we like them enough to whip out the camera most of the time we spot their glassine window cupolas hiding a water meter or standing tall over an on-the-nose lawn island of big stones.

So here you go, America: turn on your love lighthouse and let it shine on.

front yard decoration including potted flowers, lighthouse ornament and old sailor decoration
Lighthouse with old sea salt, Vandergrift
large decorative lawn lighthouse in front yard of home in Bridgewater, PA
BIG lighthouse on island rock feature, Bridgewater
small wooden lighthouse decoration in front of brick house
Tiny lighthouse, Lawrenceville
handmade wooden decorative lighthouse painted in Pittsburgh Steelers black-and-gold
Steelers lighthouse, ex-putt putt golf course, Millvale
decorative lawn lighthouse against chain link fence, Donora, PA
Chain link lighthouse, Donora
decorative lighthouse ornament in front garden of house in Whitaker, PA
All-American lighthouse, Whitaker
decorative lawn lighthouse painted red, white, and blue, Ambridge, PA
All-American lighthouse, Ambridge
decorative lighthouse in front of entrance to boat club building
OK: this one is semi-legit. Boat club lighthouse, Chateau
decorative yard lighthouse made from painted flower pots
Flower pot lighthouse, Reserve Twp.

Lighthouses and Friends

Like meatballs, sometimes lighthouses don’t want to be alone. Whether paired with front yard Marys, a matching lawn windmill [you know we’ve got a collection of those going too!], dress-up gooses, or all-of-the-above, lighthouses that aren’t in the pristine environments described above often end up in some fun company.

decorative model lighthouses painted black-and-gold in front yard of house in Whitaker, PA
Steelers lighthouse/Steelers windmill, Whitaker
front yard decorated with many small statuettes, Pittsburgh, PA
Lots-of-traffic lighthouse, Morningside [note: bonus Mary!]
front yard covered with decorative figurines, lighthouse, and Mary statuette, Donora, PA
Leaning lighthouse [note: more bonus Mary!], Donora
small yard and porch decorated with statue of Mary, goose, Disney lighthouse, Steelers flag
A little bit of everything: Minnie & Mickey lighthouse, dress up goose, Steelers flag, big Mary, American flag/map, Millvale
small planter with model lighthouse and boat, Pittsburgh, PA
Lighthouse and run-aground boat, Morningside
pair of ornamental lawn lighthouses by water garden feature
Double art lighthouses! Lawrenceville
frame house with decorative lighthouse in front garden
In-the-weeds lighthouse, Hazelwood

The Lighthouses of Neville Island

Perhaps it should be no surprise that Neville Island would be particularly invested in lighthouses. They still don’t have a real one the island, but at least the place is surrounded by water which gives it bragging rights in these parts.

Anyway, there were almost enough Neville Island lawn lighthouses to make a whole collection of just those. However, knowing we’re already pushing it with a subject likely of little interest to anyone with a real life, we decided to bundle them here so we can get on with all the even less meaningful topics on the to-do list.

large wooden duplex house with lighthouse lawn ornament in front, Neville Island, PA
Accessorizing lighthouse, Neville Island
wooden bungalow house with large lighthouse lawn ornament in front, Neville Island, PA
All-American lighthouse, Neville Island
decorative lawn lighthouse in front of wooden house, Neville Island, PA
Island-on-an-island lighthouse, Neville Island
decorative lawn lighthouse, Neville Island, PA
Between-the-trees lighthouse, Neville Island
decorative lawn lighthouse against front porch, Neville Island, PA
Classic spiral stripe lighthouse, Neville Island