BET / HAN / KFUL: Thanksgiving Gratitude 2022

painting on wall reading "Be Thankful"
Be Thankful or BET HAN KFUL, your choice. Wall art, The Run

Be Thankful. Those two words—or possibly three when rendered as BET / HAN / KFUL—are something we can all (hopefully) act on. Your author has plenty to be thankful for—a wonderful wife, terrific friends, neighbors, and creative partners, most of his health, some of his hair—and I don’t take any of it for granted.

So often—especially in today’s hashtag self-obsessed culture—expressing gratitude comes in the form of “humble brag” gloating. We’ll not do that here. Instead, we thought for this Thanksgiving we’d nominate some very Pittsburgh-centric things our readership can relate to and share in group gratitude for this little collective virtual Thanksgiving.

Here then are some things The Orbit is thankful for every day we get to spend in our hometown. Maybe you’ll relate and maybe not. Either way, we thank you for reading.

single chair from dinette set on street, acting as a "parking chair", Pittsburgh, PA
Parking chair, Garfield

Yes, we’re grateful for the humble parking chair. For the record, Chez Orbit, located in cheek-to-jowl Lawrenceville, does not deploy a chair—even after digging out from snow. Regardless, the absurdity of seeing random old dinette seats literally taking up space three feet off the curb never gets old and never stops being amusingly funny. With more and more parking placeholders moving to generic white molded plastic lawn chairs and Home Depot job buckets, we get a special thrill to come across a classic like this one.

Rising Main city steps, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Rising Main city steps, North Side

City Steps are ho-hum to some and what are those? to others. Like a child’s fantasy of magical pathways through mysterious overgrown woods, Pittsburgh’s collection of seven hundred-and-a-bunch sets of city steps are an elaborate intra-city adventure portal masquerading as public transit infrastructure. With this large a collection, pretty much everyone in the 412 has steps not too far away, right at your fingertips … err, foot steps. Be thankful you do.

old brick wall with layers of paint, cinderblock, and plywood
One of the world’s most beautiful walls, Arlington/Mt. Oliver

We’re thankful for walls. Not any ol’ jive-ass boring walls, mind you, but walls that read like archeological expeditions, art moderne collage, and site-specific evidence of histories we’ll never know. Take that wall off of that wall and dudes in New York will pay top dollar for it. You can have it for free, right here.

house under construction with artwork attached to plywood door covering
Outside art, Millvale

Our friends over at The Portland Orbit coined the term “Outside Art” for the unique phenomena of exactly that. Neither public art nor graffiti/street art, outside art is installed either by the (private) property owner or with their consent for the express purpose of delighting and amusing the rest of us. We’ve been working a couple angles on this we’ll get to in the new year, but suffice to say the volume of outside art available just about everywhere is awe-inspiring when you start cataloging it. Putting one’s art into the world anonymously, with all the potential hazards of weather, mockery, and vandalism, is as altruistic an action as there is. We’re glad people keep doing it.

foggy scene with rusted iron fence and houses
Fog, Polish Hill

Generally, being a morning person works out pretty well—that is, until you stay up late and can’t ever make up the sleep. It’s never more true than when one is on a pre-breakfast constitutional through thick fog. You name it and it’s going to look better draped in the gauzy blur of cool humid air that makes everything appear mysterious, a little dangerous, and right out of a dream. When you take that fog walk through the cemetery? Fuggetaboutit.

hilltop view of two neighborhoods in Pittsburgh
View of Troy Hill (foreground) and Strip District (background) from Reserve Township

Weird views are something everyone in Pittsburgh gets accustomed-to—but don’t take it for granted! Sure, you can go with a corporate view like Mt. Washington or the West End Overlook—and those are great—but give yourself a chance to check out the view of town looking straight across the Liberty Bridge from the trail in Emerald View Park or the roofs of Bloomfield’s row houses lit by the morning sun from Sugar Top/Upper Hill District or the 360-degree view from St. John’s Cemetery in Spring Hill or this one looking down at the top of Troy Hill and all the way across the river to the Strip District from Reserve Township.

metal can lid painted with devil holding anarchy flag nailed to utility pole, Pittsburgh, PA
Tin can pole art anarchy devil, Friendship

Pole Art is the evergreen Where’s Waldo? of bike/pedestrian travel. On any day any given utility pole may be enhanced by the anonymous addition of just about anything. Sure, we’re nuts for tin can pole art, but it doesn’t stop there. Weird signs, full art installations, recycled toys, and improvised memorials. You gotta look! The very nature of these ephemeral pieces means that each has a ticking clock counting down its limited lifetime before it disappears. Not knowing how long we’ve got is a central theme of all of our lives—being thankful for the time we have and the opportunity to interact with these random exclamation points is something we’ll not overlook.

pair of gravestones with last names Will and End
Will/End. Gallows humor, St. John Vianney Cemetery, Carrick

Cruel humor from beyond the grave may be a strange thing to find comfort in, but it reminds us we’re thankful to be alive. Even with all of life’s pain—and there’s no small amount of it—I’d rather be breathing than the alternative. Hopefully that’s the same for anyone reading this. If you’re in doubt, please get yourself the help you deserve, and then think about the things you have to be thankful for. Those things are all around us every day.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.

To Bathe, or Not to Bathe: The Marys of McKees Rocks, Part 2

statue of Mary in front of house, next to gas meter
Lovely Mary, meter maid. One of many “bathtub Marys” in greater McKees Rocks/Stowe Township

To bathe, or not to bathe. That is the question.

OK, maybe it’s not much of a quandary for The Orbit‘s corner on both obsessive-compulsive and dirty-minded readers, but let’s accept that many of us (ahem) changed our hygienic standards with the onset of the pandemic. Mary—mother of all mothers, blessed virgin, you know, that Mary—seems to have recalibrated her priorities as well. If the Marys of greater McKees Rocks/Stowe Township are any indication, Mary is already comfortable with her proximity to godliness and content with an almost exact day-on/day-off schedule.

statue of Mary on retaining wall with No Parking signs
No Parking/no bathing Mary

In this electronic publication’s early days—before really digging into the subject—we naively thought Bloomfield held the title as the Mary capitol of Pittsburgh. In addition, South Oakland, Stanton Heights, and Lawrenceville all have sizable Mary populations that have earned their own surveys.

That said, McKees Rocks and Stowe Township—the distinction between the two is completely arbitrary to any outsider—may well lay claim to the greatest house-for-house percentage of Marys in metro Pittsburgh. Little Presston, a Rocks neighborhood of just two streets, had enough Marys to fill a whole story. Greater Sto-Rox has so many Marys—just about 50/50 with and without bathtubs—that we’ll not kid ourselves into thinking we won’t have a third or fourth edition on the topic.

So we’ll leave you to it. Enjoy your Marys with the clean aroma of Mr. Bubble or not and please let us know if you’ve got a Mary of your own or Mary story we should hear.

statue of Mary in front of older house
Mary with sleek modern design bathtub
statue of Mary in front of older house
Classic Mary with weeds
statue of Mary in front of older house
Blue bathtub Mary
statue of Mary in front of older house
Home repair and improvement Mary
statue of Mary in front of older house
Bathtub Mary with gas meter and water can
statue of Mary in front of older house
Mary simple/pedestal Mary
statue of Mary in front of house
Classic bathtub Mary I
statue of Mary in front of older house
Hard day’s night Mary
statue of Mary in front of house
Bas-relief Mary
statue of Mary in front of house with fake flowers
Fall foliage Mary
statue of Mary in front of house
Classic bathtub Mary II
statue of Mary in front of house with pumpkins
Decorative gourd Mary
statue of Mary in front of house
Divine light Mary
statue of Mary in front of house with Halloween decorations
Trick-or-Treat/got-the-munchies Mary
statue of Mary in front of house
Dappled sunlight Mary
statue of Mary in front of older house
Backed-into-a-corner Mary
statue of St. Barbara in front yard of house
NOT Mary! St. Barbara, “patron saint of armorers, artillerymen, military engineers, miners, and others who work with explosives” (Wikipedia). [Thanks to Orbit reader Joan for identifying this one!]
brick structure used to house statue of Mary with statue removed
Empty Mary grotto

Coker’s Gold: Art Sheds of the Wizard of Perry South

large metal shed painted in elaborate abstract panels
One of two sheet metal work sheds painted by the artist Coker, The Wizard of Perry South

A blast of color. Soft pinks, big reds, cool blues and purples on one face; rusty reds, browns, and blacks another. Everything is accented in gold.

That gold! It’s a gold of ancient secrets and the gold of a new dawn. The warm glow has an extra glossy shine that elevates already-textured steel surfaces to a fourth dimension—something beyond space and time. What the amateur sees as mere spray paint is actually a fuzzy overlay on reality from another world.

Cast against the very literal rust of a pair of weathered steel sheds, the gold feels like flashes of light glinting and gleaming through stony creek water. Precious metal to some, fool’s gold to others, but with an experiential value beyond anything we can measure. That is, if you can climb out of 3-D and into this transformative plane.

colorful abstract designs painted on metal shed panels
J-E-S-U-S, gold. Detail, Shed 1
colorful abstract designs painted on metal shed panels
Stars and bars. Detail, Shed 2

In glorious full sunshine, surrounded by high summer’s lush greenery, the two old metal work sheds pop from the earth like temporary housing created by interstellar travelers. We may not speak their tongue, but these pictorial representations of stars and symbols, geometric patterns and light rays communicate enough otherworldly visions that we can get along.

Getting along is exactly what we want to do—very much so. The work is striking and soothing, both chaotic and patterned, with obvious iconography and wild abstraction. Like waves crashing on the beach or mountaintops viewed from a neighboring peak, one may stare into the wide murals, let the eyes go into a glazed soft-focus, and drift off to a blissed-out zen state where nothing looks the same way twice.

colorful abstract designs painted on metal shed doors
Notation for an impossible score. Detail, Shed 1
colorful abstract designs painted on metal shed doors
C-O-K-E-R. Detail, Shed 1

The artist who painted the sheet metal sheds has signed the work only as Coker, his last name—this much we know. We’d love to do a full-on Orbit artist profile on the man—there are so many questions! Does he also make smaller works? paintings? sculptures? what’s inside the sheds? It feels like there simply must be an amazing story there.

But … the volume of No Trespassing and Stay Out signs posted around the property suggest Coker is, at minimum, wary of uninvited guests and this we respect. I’ve visited the buildings a half dozen times over the course of a year-and-a-half, on various early mornings, mid-days, and weekends and left notes for Mr. Coker. Alas, I’ve never heard back and never managed to catch him in person. So … we’re left to muse about The Wizard of Perry South from his (street-visible) painted walls alone.

colorful abstract designs painted on metal shed panels
Gold stars. Detail, Shed 2
large metal shed painted in elaborate abstract panels
Shed 1, south profile

Coker’s most profound work—to these highly-opinionated eyeballs—remains the large abstract wall sections. “They’re like (Marc) Chagall!” Ms. Orbit exclaimed when your author produced his first photographs of the remarkable structures. That said, the artist’s paint work extends to more representational fare as well.

A corner wall section of the first shed includes tributes to Barrack Obama, Martin Luther King, Jr., Marvin Gaye, George Benson, and Snoop Dogg (in the form of gin & juice, illustrated with musical notes). Another celebrates the music of ’70s soul group Maze and includes the band’s bizarre seven-fingered hand logo. Elsewhere King Kong tramples New York while a bloated “fake news scum-bag”—not sure who that could be—tramples democracy.

metal shed painted with tributes to Barrack Obama, Martin Luther King, Jr., Marvin Gaye, George Benson, and the text "gin & juice"
Tributes to Barrack Obama, Martin Luther King, Jr., Marvin Gaye, George Benson, and gin & juice
Tribute to Frankie Beverly & Maze on metal shed doors
“Man Swamp”: Tribute to Frankie Beverly & Maze
painting of King Kong on metal shed
King Kong
painting of Donald Trump on metal shed with sign reading "Fake news scum-bag"
“Fake news scum-bag”
painting of downtown Pittsburgh skyline on wood panel on front porch of small house
Outside art / Pittsburgh skyline

Just down the block sits the third unmistakable Coker property. It’s a classic Pittsburgh two-up/two-down brick row house—now having outlived all former neighbors on a half-block-long dead end. The front of the home is painted in Coker’s tell-tale gold, daringly paired with splotchy silver—a color combination that makes even pink & brown stand up and take notice. Around the side, Coker has continued the blocky, abstract themes begun on the pair of sheds, but this time executed in gold, black, and white.

brick row house painted gold and silver
House Coker
abstract mural painted on masonry wall
Mural, House Coker (detail)

We could all use more magic in our lives—of this I’m sure. Luckily, we live in a time and place where one may stumble upon just that, right out in the open, on a simple summer bicycle ride or autumnal constitutional through a city neighborhood.

If you’re lucky enough to live in The Perrys, you know where Compound Coker is already. For anyone who doesn’t, we’ll not spoil the surprise with a precise address or instructions for travel. There’s enough information right here to locate Pittsburgh’s buried treasure of gold (art), it’s up to you to go out and find it.

large metal shed painted with elaborate abstract designs and text "Coker"
An arrow to the aether. Shed 2 profile